How to Handle “That’s Not Fair” at Work

You may already be expecting this conversation.

In fact, you may be dreading it.

Someone on your team wants to talk about pay, fairness, and why they feel something doesn’t add up.

And once that conversation starts, you need to handle it in a way that feels clear, constructive, and consistent — not just for one person, but across the team.

In this short One Simple Thing episode, Gerry Murray explores a practical way to handle these conversations without getting pulled into unhelpful comparisons.

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Transcript

Handling Pay Rise Pushback

Keep It About Performance

Reframing Towards Progression And Growth

Staying Credible Without All Answers

Trust Consistency And Clear Next Steps

Programme Plug And How To Connect

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to Leading People with me, Jerry Murray. This week it's One Simple Thing, where in each episode I share a quick, actionable tip to help you bring out the best in yourself and others. One simple thing is created for young leaders, but hey, us older folks can still learn a thing or two? Ask my dog, he's learned a few new tricks recently. Here's a question for you. What do you say when someone on your team says, I deserve a bigger pay increase? Or maybe this, why is the other person who's doing the same job as me being paid more than me when my performance reviews have all been positive? Now, this is a challenging situation, and I get that. In fact, I think these conversations are becoming even trickier because in many organizations, conversations about pay, fairness, and progression are becoming more visible, especially in Europe. And at the same time, not every manager is stepping into those conversations with a perfectly clear framework. You may have inherited a pay situation you didn't create, or you may be waiting for clearer guidance from HR. Or you may be in an organization where the whole question of pay structure is still a bit loose and evolving. So, yes, this can be messy. And here's the thing even in that kind of reality, there is still one practical move that can really help. Because when people start talking about pay, they're rarely talking only about money. There may be other factors feeding into their thinking and how they feel. For example, they may also be talking about recognition, about whether they feel valued, about whether progression feels possible, about whether their contribution is really being seen. And that means this is one of those moments where your judgment as a leader is on display. Because this is where many leaders get pulled off course. They get defensive, they start comparing people, they try to soften the message, or they get drawn into personal circumstances and lose sight of what the conversation is really about. So here's one simple thing to consider. Keep the conversation anchored to performance, not comparison. That doesn't mean you ignore the emotion, and it doesn't mean you pretend the wider context is simple, but it does mean you stay clear about what this conversation needs to be about. So it's not let's talk about what other people got, but more let's look at your performance and your contribution and how decisions about progression and reward are made around here. And that shift in focus matters because the more you get dragged into comparing one person with another, the messier the conversation becomes, and the less confidence people have in the process. Or you for that matter. And once one person raises the pay issue, you may need to think about not only this conversation, but about how consistently you'll be able to handle similar questions across the team. Now, in many organizations the pay framework itself may be quite fixed. So the more useful starting point for the conversation may not be why didn't I get more pay now? But more what would progression look like here and what would I need to demonstrate to merit it? And I think that matters because sometimes when someone challenges a pay decision, they're signaling something deeper. It may be about recognition or growth or development or whether they can see a path forward in your organization. So what you could consider is thinking about the pay conversation in a wider context. Yes, pay matters, of course it does, but the conversation may also need to include progression, development, and other forms of recognition linked to future contribution. Now that doesn't mean you dodge the pay issue, and it certainly doesn't mean you try to gloss over something that may genuinely feel unfair. But what it does mean is that you try to handle the conversation in a way that feels clear, grounded, and constructive. What matters in that moment is not that you have every answer on the spot because you may not. What matters is that you stay credible, that you explain what you do know, and that you're honest about what may still need clarification. And that you bring the conversation back to what good performance looks like and what happens next. Because these moments are not just about pay, they're about trust, about consistency, and about whether people believe that performance and contribution really matter. So the next time someone says that's not fair, pause for a moment and bring the conversation back to what it should be about performance, progression, recognition, and clear next steps. Because as conversations about pay and progression become more visible, managers need more than just good intentions. They need the skills to set expectations clearly, review performance fairly, and handle difficult conversations well. And if this is the kind of people leadership challenge your team leaders are facing, our team leader essentials program may be your next best step because it includes modules on dealing with things like these. And for more practical ideas on leading performance conversations, well, keep listening to this podcast. You'll find links in the show notes. And that's another one simple thing. Thanks for tuning in. Remember, small steps can lead to big changes. Test out this one simple thing and notice how it transforms your day. Let me know how you get on. Reach out on LinkedIn and connect with me. Mention the podcast. And if you'd like to learn more One Simple Things, then subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast channel and follow our LinkedIn Leading People page. In our next episode of One Simple Thing, we'll explore another easy way to be a great leader by bringing out the best in yourself and those around you. And in between, you can check out one of my longer conversations with leading people about, yes, you've guessed it, leading people. So until then, keep exploring and stay curious.